I Still Look for Her in Crowds

by Sofia Villafaña

I still look for her in crowds. 

Her blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. 

The kind of look a princess in the most 

amazing fairytale would have. I was 

disoriented. 

My mind foggy at her tender smile. 

She was the first girl I had ever 

loved. 

She had an accent,

from a country I couldn’t name. 

She had a smile that made me fall. 

And I kept falling. 

Everytime I sat across from her, 

diagonal from her, next to her, 

I fell a little bit faster. There was an unspoken tension, 

yearning. 

I didn’t notice it for a long time, or maybe 

I didn’t want to. 

It was like I was blind. 

Maybe I needed new glasses. 

And yet, I could always see 

her. 

I don’t know much about 

her. Not really. 

But whenever she presented in class, 

she had all of my attention. 

I could’ve sworn I had hers. 

I remember graduating, and 

searching for her among the thousands. 

I remember seeing her radiant and magnetic 

smile across the courtyard. 

I wanted to be delicate with this love, 

handle it with care, treat it like a treasure,

because I didn’t think it would last. 

I didn’t believe that a love 

founded purely on love for 

writing, literature, and having an opinion could be 

real.  

I still look for her in crowds, even though 

it’s been years, 

and I never knew her. 

Maybe it’s not her I’m searching for, 

but the feeling of falling fast and slow 

at the same time. 

Of breaking your heart, 

as someone’s putting it together. 

I still look for her in crowds.