The Power of a Target Run for the Mentally Ill & Overwhelmed

by Grace Sofia 

There’s something calming about walking into a bright Target, pushing a cart or holding a basket, ready to rejuvenate from the week of shit. Mental illness makes the most simple things complicated, and the easiest things feel like walking with cinderblocks tied to my feet. So, these monthly “get my shit together” trips at Target are essential to my livelihood. Walking down all the aisles feels like a reset on all the bad things, I get a second chance to start over thanks to this portal world that is Target. It’s not a store, it is, but it’s also a space for me to put the thoughts together that have gotten away from me. It became an essential piece of my routine, a place where I can show up at my worst and leave feeling at least a percentage better. 

I always start in the makeup section, because seeing new products in their shiny packaging makes me feel good. Reminds me of the good things in life, the simple things that give me small bursts of joy. I usually pick up a new tube of mascara or lip gloss, something new I bought just because I wanted it. I wanted to take home something purely for fun and joy, and that’s life changing when you’re dealing with mental illness. 

Sometimes it’s something as simple as making a list for the essentials: toothpaste, deodorant, makeup remover, and some body wash. It gives me a sense of control and calms my senses, something familiar and routine. Then, comes the fun. Searching for skincare and stuff. I usually grab a body scrub, some face masks and sheet masks, serums and intense moisturizers. I get candles with essential oils and some tea or hot chocolate. 

Then, there’s the practical aspect of all of it. What granola will I buy for my parfaits this week? What preworkout will I get for the gym? What kind of ice cream am I craving this month? Do I need cleaning stuff? It all gets me in this mood to start over and start again. This Target trip is my monthly reset, to replenish what I need to get through the next month but also pick me up from the last one. 

Being surrounded by people, families grocery shopping or school shopping, people running errands or going out for food nearby, stopping in for beach supplies over the summer and new leggings to wear under their clothes for the winter. It feels like being in society, a reminder that I’m still human and alive. At the very least, it’s a change of scenery. Sometimes, change is good. Which is why during these trips I try new flavors of ice cream or tea, maybe a different detox mask or scented body scrub. I’ll keep my routine, alter the details. Anything to get me out of whatever funk I’m in. 

This is the reality of living with depression, it’s doing random shit to make you feel better. It’s sticking to routines to feel consistent. That’s the glue that holds us together, it’s cleaning our depression room and doing a face mask with a eucalyptus candle burning. It’s tea and journaling with therapy every week. It’s monthly Target trips to remember you’re still a member of society.