La Voz de Mamá: Advice I’m Still Using

by Grace Sofia 

My mom has given me some real life saving advice, hundreds of little nuggets of gold that she casually dropped while making tostones. Don’t get me wrong, some of her consejos are wild and make no sense, but others make sense now that I’m an adult and understand the dangers that are out there. She’s taught me more about the world from the comfort of our home than I ever learned in school. 

Don’t sleep over people’s houses, porque nunca sabes. I always thought my mom was wild for this, because I knew my friends and they were good people who were raised in good homes. What I didn’t know at the time were how many secrets people hid behind their pretty houses. Some of the most evil people have the kindest smile, they are loved and wanted by their families. I didn’t know that, I didn’t know people could pretend to be good. I didn’t know that some of my best friends were actually perverts and rapists. I have never been happier of my mom never letting me go to parties or people’s houses as a kid, because you really never know. 

Don’t eat food at people's house, porque no todo el mundo limpia como yo. Holy shit was she right, some people have dirty tendencies. I thought my mother’s standard of cleanliness was universal, but apparently not. People will not wash their hands after using the bathroom and touch everything in their sight, not caring about the germs they spread. I’ve been to places where people don’t clean their meat, then lick their fingers before touching it again with seasoning.  I will not be caught eating at anyone’s house, I don’t know the last time they washed their hands or meat. 

Doesn’t matter where I’m going, she needs my location. My friends used to laugh at how much my mom checked on me whenever I went out, texts and calls all day long, but really it feels good having someone looking out for you even when you don’t want them to. Truthfully, this has saved me more times than I’d like to admit. Especially during my college years when I drank and partied a lot more, my mom would pick me up or send cabs to get me and take me back to the dorms. 

Always leave the house dressed your best, never take the chance that someone will catch you on a bad day and remember that every time they think of you. It’s strategic really, you shouldn’t let your enemies see you as anything other than amazing. Thanks to my mom, not a single ex-boyfriend, ex-friend, ex-anything has seen me look less than presentable. 

Not everyone who laughs with you is your friend. Some people will play you in your face and not care about who they hurt on the way either. The same person who goes to brunch with you is the same person who will shit talk you the moment you’re out of sight. Remember to never trust anyone 100% because you quite literally never know who’s lying to your face and planning to stab you in the back. 

Keep your ID and health insurance card on you at all times. Random, but weirdly helpful. You never know when an accident will happen, life is more unpredictable than a season of Pretty Little Liars. 

Don’t go to stranger’s homes. This mostly applies to men’s homes, but no one is safe in this day and age. 

Trust your intuition, your gut. It’s your soul telling you something is wrong. 

Don’t let your drink leave your eye line. Don’t leave it with a friend, don’t leave it on a table, it stays in your hand. 

Don’t tell people when you’re home alone. The internet isn’t always for sharing, people watch and stalk. Don’t share when you’re alone, to anyone. 

Never chase a man. If he wants you, you’ll never have to beg for anything. Not attention or time or effort. 

And a quote from the queen herself, “No 50/50, that’s a roommate not a provider.” She mentioned this casually once, and once angrily after some dude tried to get me to cover our dinner, and again when I was crying over a broken heart. She always told me a real man, one who really loved and cared for me, will want to do more than the bare minimum. 

My mom has given me so much wisdom over the years, and I can’t explain all the ways these nuggets of gold have saved my life. It wasn’t always asked for sure, but it’s been my guiding light since the day I first followed her advice.